tanam anggur...

macam tak percaya but i guess, i really,finally graduate from uni...it's a great feeling after all the efforts,trust and hardwork have been poured to make this day really happened.sangat-sangat happi sebab sudah bebas dari tanggungan sebagai seorang pelajar but now, i have to grow up because i'm going to start working...how does that feel?responsibility makes me nervous...but it feel sad whilst i'm packing my stuff...so much have had happened; ups and downs, good and bad...i feel empty suddenly because whenever the door was closed, i don't belong here anymore..i'm unknown to the next things that i'll be doing...so, dalam sedih and terharu,i'm moving on and trying hard to be optimistic. had my stuffs moved from the house, went to KLCC and submitted my report duty form to mr. harussany(**eventho it's 2 months late,sorry,i really wasn't aware about it!) and came back home to rearrange all the stuff...:D next plan, still in pre-determine phase but i'm thinking of taking maybe: photography lesson or flash or photoshop OR perhaps open an online business...not sure which one but i'll choose one after the 1st Jan 2010...AND, please pray for me!

pagi yang tenang...

hari-hari yang bakal dirindui..simply everything that i could hear from my opened windows; today, yesterday and many days before...nothing great though, but from here, i could listened to many things that use to make my heart feel at ease, whenever i'm loss...something really funny when i'm totally panic or just need to be inspired..neighbours that never failed to amaze me with their choices of songs...i just realised that basically we all kind of listen to the same music..and mornings really amuse me with the birds and chickens....their sounds make the day perfect... 

pernah ku simpan jauh rasa ini
berdua jalani cerita
kau ciptakan mimpiku
jujur ku hanya sesalkan diriku
kau tinggalkan mimpiku
dan itu hanya sesalkan diriku

ku harus lepaskanmu
melupakan senyummu
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dng inginku

ku harus lepaskanmu
melupakan senyummu
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dng inginku

semua tentangmu, tentangku, hanya harap
jauh, ku jauh, mimpiku dng inginku

jauh mimpiku dengan inginku

jauh mimpiku - peterpan

kung fu panda?

since i'm logged in to this, i shall update a bit..not much to tell anyway...this evening,we got chased by a cute-looking-4 dimensional-doggie that are chasing for our burgers....very cute looking but the fact that i'm afraid of it made me run as fast as i could..**more like walking fast as i could; because they said if you started to run, it will chase you...so, no way out ey....tried as much as possible to act cool and all but i guessed we both did make a succesfull gag for the people around that were watching...anyway, we got home safe and sound with our beloved food...(hahahahaah, i was about to throw the burgers previously but thinking that's my precious i kept holding to it...)so up till now, just going back and forth trying hard to study....i realised that my paper is only 2 days to go, still long time (if calculated in hours or minutes or seconds), but i guess, since this would be my last paper before i graduate...i should put 2 more times effort than before....*sigh* so, off first..i gotta study moreeeee!oh yes, we all looking like pandas that have been overworked by the exams....sleepy yet sleepless and very active....hiah!

series of unfortunate events...

well, our midnight had turned to be much more like a very serious series of unfortunate gag...as we were eagerly watching Willy Wonka and enjoying our less healthy foods...it was raining from before and we were all in the mood for something filling and it only came after 60 minutes (more or less) of dreading the fast-food guy to come faster...we called 3 times just to ensure that they'd send somebody to send it to us....(*i bet they must be really annoyed + pressured), but hey, your customers were really dissatisfied here and hungry too....then, we it finally came and we got to settled down in front of very-much-in-love-BFF, television;where it suddenly went to grey-blank -mode and finished with a a quick flash and burning smell...and, there goes our movie and mood...ruined with the death of the very-much-darling-tvee...(*wonder if Mr Lai gonna give us a new tvee or again we have to find it ourself?) but the climax was when we just realized that the water was gone and we did not save any in case of nature's calling..and that's what really happened...with the eating spree of serious black pepper, milo, ice cream and various snacks, my stomach can hold it anymore....desperately, after a while of struggling to hold it back...we were giving up and started our journey to the nearest toilets which is in uni.....but the challenge just begin as they have exams tomorrow..wonder if they gonna take shower or where they will do just that before their papers? heheheehehe...gud luck, my dearest!

photo willy wonka by jorgepacker

selamat tahun baru!

walau jasad tidak berubah, moga-moga karat di dalam jiwa kita bisa tanggal saat ini.aku berharap dan bermohon agar selepas hari ini perkara yang baik-baik bakal aku tempuhi.begitu juga buat teman-teman dan keluarga.let's cleanse our heart,soul and mindset. kita kelmarin bukanlah kita hari ini..nothing else matters except to strive for more goodness not only to one's self but to the rest of the nation.maybe i will only contribute a little, but i believe i'd make a different. 

SALAM MAAL HIJRAH 1431H!

hijrah membentuk perpaduan...juga penyatuan jiwa dan jasad untuk menjadi orang yang lebih tunduk dan senang dengan kepercayaan dan saudara-saudaranya. tiada yang lebih baik dari merasakan yang terbaik sambil terus berusaha agar kita tetap dijalan yang baik-baik...[dengan izin-Nya]

malam yang dingin..

buat orang malas...

aku disini tetap pening kepala..

(ikut versi pagi yang gelap korus)

pening?taklah sangat, cuma memikirkan a few escape plans from revisions before exam. makin dekat nak grad, makin bosan rasanya hidup. i guess, part of me will miss the childish-spoil brat-thoughtless persona of me when working life will be the next train to be on...still wondering if working later will be the same as when i was doing my internship?perhaps, it's just the same but the consequences of every actions later will be on my shoulder not anyone else anymore.so, more or less this is my resolution for 2010:

• to try my best to be inspired and to inspire others through my position.
• to give more than what i am about to receive.
  
• to learn to be more motivated and to motivate others.
  

wish me well. fighting!

photo where is the train by fas-ola

layan lagu jap...

photo album cover:time for change

2PM - again & again

TRANSLATIONS
again and again and again and again
again and again and again and again

why am i standing like this in front of your house again, am i a fool
getting tricked again and again, and suffering again and again
but why am i at this place again

i think i’ve gone crazy, have i no pride
i come back to you, like going around and around in a circle
saying ‘i can’t be like this (like this, like this)’,
i’m being like this again today, no

again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

why do i seem like such a fool
why did i become like this
i made a firm decision, again and again
why do i keep coming back to you

i think i’ve gone crazy, have i no pride
i come back to you, like going around and around in a circle
saying ‘i won’t ever see you again (see you, see you)’,
i’m being like this again

again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. i don’t know why, i don’t know why
again and again and again and again
i fall for your words again. i don’t know why, i don’t know why

what kind of medicine are you, that i can’t give it up
even without me knowing, i keep yearning for you, and eventually look for you again
though i know you’re a bad girl, i embrace you and love you again
undoubtedly, clearly, i want to come towards you
knowing all the pains of tomorrow, i can’t turn around, i can’t decide

darn it, why am i like this, why am i lying next to this girl
how many more times do i have to do this for me to come to my senses
someone, tie me down somewhere, quickly, please
she’s a bad girl, i know (i know), but here i go again. oh no

again and again and again and again
i keep going back to you. (i’m going back to you) i don’t know why, i don’t know why
again and again and again and again (i keep coming back)
i fall for your words again. (even i) i don’t know why, i don’t know why
oh, oh, yeah

nappeun namja

waktu tetap berjalan, malah ianya kian beransur pergi dengan begitu pantas...setiap permulaan, pasti ada hujung perjalanannya. penghujung yang aku tunggu tetapi tidak dengan penghabisan yang aku harapkan. sekali lagi, selepas ini; permulaan baru bakal bermula...tak banyak yang aku harapkan cuma beberapa perkara yang terlepas, buat aku lega kerana ia telah dilepaskan...tiada sebab untuk aku merasa berat meninggalkan ini..nothing to be missed.cuma kadang-kala, aku terfikir, mungkin lebih kepada mengingati tentang dia...lucu tapi aku sentiasa merasa dia disisi,always looking for me..wajahnya tak pernah berubah, tak pernah berlalu dengan reaksi...sekadar ekspresi kosong mengatakan aku disini, dan kamu juga disini...sekadar itu, tapi aku merasa dia dimana-mana, jelas dengan dirinya sedangkan aku masih lagi berfikir-fikir tentang aku.

p/s: nak ikut gi korea!

photo waiting for by skyhorizon

selamat pagi sunshine!!

buat matahari yang tetap memancar ke bumi kala ini.mungkin tinggal aku sendiri yang masih termangu-mangu, penat menahan mata dan perasaan untuk beradu..terasa pedih di mata dan otak angkara esaimen yang tak ada hujungnya...tapi due date tetap bertandang dan aku telah berjaya mengakhirinya...perhaps, the others will be more proactive and add more to the conclusion. aku dah malas sangat nak mencari konklusi kepada report yang terlalu wordy akibat dari super-ambitious-dreams-of ours...just finished with the snapshots of the interface, hopefully it's sufficient to buy Ms. Oii's heart to give us extra marks...:D but now, mahu atau tidak, otak dan mata kurniaan tuhan ini memberontak untuk berhenti...so sangat tired, saya mahu ber-adu kepadaNya..:D

boring days..

been under the strings of many workloads..does not really matter, ey?life is about working hard and trying even harder...but all this report thingy really make my head want to explode. :D

p/s: i wanna put the song seung-ri strong baby, but guess the lyric to explicit for the rythm..check it yourself..:D

again and again.....mulla..

'NUFF WITH YOUR IGNORANCE

i have enuff and i'm tired of being your "ball"..don't kick me around as you please...and don't runaway when your excuses are just lame ignorances...

tekanan dan cobaan yang mendatang buat rasa aku bertambah parah.pasti enak kalau dapat menjerit sekuat-kuatnya sambil cakap; "i have enuff..!" yes, i'd have enuff and aku malas nak berpihak kepada sesiapa kecuali diri sendiri. sudah penat aku melihat manusia bertelagah, lebih penat kerna keadaannya tak ubah seperti sikap anak-anak kecil di tadika...

addicted to pop-techno wave..

which really make me wonder about my decreasing taste in music...:D fyi, i hate techno or any type machine-based music..but lately, most songs that i listen to is in such genre...anyway, it does not hurt to try something new,ey?i dont understand the lyric anyway but the song are pretty even when it's fast beat...it's uplifting my emotions so i guess, i don't care...currently my ears are hooking up with this one:

Super Girl - Super Junior M

Oh~super, super girl
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~

look at me, look at me, dont’ keep thinking about him
don’t love, don’t love, he doesn’t love you
Your perfection surpass him
Don’t look at the hand phone any more
Don’t hesitate anymore
You understand You’re clear My super girl
You remember the times he gave you flowers, throw it away, quickly throw it away
and also his charming smile forget it, quickly forget it
his gentleness may make you dazed. wake up, faster wake up
You seemed so mysterious
let me keep it a secret

Oh my Super girl, you are my Baby girl
he can’t see your beauty, ordinary back charm
Oh my Super girl, I’m your super man
your eyes hypnotize me
I’ll do anything for you
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)

look at me, look at me, don’t keep following him
If he says he likes you, no matter how busy you are, he’ll wait for you
He must be lying
That is not his sincere words
Oh~don’t believe, leave
Oh~ come back to my side

You remember the times he gave you flowers, throw it away, quickly throw it away
and alos his charming smile forget it, quickly forget it
his gentleness may make you dazed. wake up, faster wake up
You seemed so mysterious
let me keep it a secret

Oh my Super girl, you are my Baby girl
he can’t see your beauty, ordinary back charm
Oh my Super girl, I’m your super man
your eyes hypnotize me
I’ll do anything for you

Happily, sorrowfully
I promise you, to always be with you,to always be with you
Prepared the world’s best love, most expensive love
Waiting for you to move into my heart
Don’t give up the power of happiness
The one and only world’s most beautiful

Oh my Super girl, you are my Baby girl
he can’t see your beauty, ordinary back charm
Oh my Super girl, I’m your super man
your eyes hypnotize me
I’ll do anything for you

You are my awesome super girl (Don’t wait anymore, anymore)
Come and fly to the future with me (Love doesn’t need to be rehearse, rehearse)
I’m your super (source of strength) (Don’t wait anymore, anymore)
Come and fly to the future with me (Love doesn’t need to be rehearse, rehearse)

Oh~oh~Oh~oh~
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)
Oh~oh~Oh~oh~(my love)

i'm the sky..

and he's the only one,my rain..:D [yes, this might sounds delusional..but i am head over heels over ♥♥♥Jung Ji Hoon ♥♥♥!] i am regretting myself for not being prepared mentally and financially for his only concert tour in Jakarta 2 days ago..so sad, oppa kitarisemida!!!!but frankly, why waste lotsa money rite? i can watch it later on youtube or dvd...no sweat and i can sit back and rewind it as much as i want until my eyes could not take his face anymore..:D well, it's seem so far from reach and i might be one among of his billions fans in this small world. just wanna say, i am really proud that at least an asian can prove to the world that we have the power to influence any one in this world and it is not only the power that a white have nowadays...and our spirits soar much higher than others that only relies on their heredity fame creation of their own imagination world a.k.a "hollywood"...perhaps, he does have all that it takes to go far in entertainment business all wide world because of his determination and ambition...his story amazes me but his passion really make him my muse..:D so now, i'm walking on clouds just to listen to his songs...fighting!

however, this is only my opinion.as a person, i don't think his  is all that, but he'd proved that hard work, sincerity and passion is the only way you could gain other's interest and trust...

Find more videos like this on Rain legend of Rainism 2009

the 9 clans...

photo ninja assasin by filmofilia

well, after a long hectic week of wanting to watch Ninja Assasin.been thinking since it's not gonna be much script came out from Rain (my oppa!), i'm thinking of settling down with such ordeal by watching it on dvd later...but i can't really wait for that, so instead of shopping for groceries yesterday, me & my hommies went to mbo to watch the film...thanx,dearies for your willingness to join my crazy obsession...it wasn't a complicated story but all the blood bath really make some parts looks gruesome and scary in times...pretty much the story revolves around Raizo, a well-trained child-turned assasin from Ozunu clan. being abandoned since child, he grew up to be a heartless but skillful ninja that are hired for high-profiled assassinations. as the story grew, it revealed the truth about Raizo and his history, the investigation held by Mika and Agent Maslow and how Raizo decided to betrayed his so called father that has trained him for years because of the death of Kiriko[supposed to be his girlfriend..:(]..i supposed he betrayed him because he can see that the way their father and clan treated them with unjustice and without opportunity to claim for what they are, where instead the are treated as a killing machine...

the things that amaze me from the movie is;

1.the smooth moves that all the ninjas have when the start to attack their target...they really moved like a shadow and it's scary...

2. the way Rain moved in this movie definitely different from the way he'd dance. It's fun to see the other side of him than the usual Rain that we saw in drama or previous movie. more serious and manly.;D

3. the fighting scenes with fire-burning-flying papers all around..i think it's pretty and dramatic as if they are surrounded by fireflies whilst fighting. it gave such affect that they really fight for their freedom, pride and rights as other person that live to enjoy their freedom in the world.

4.their healing power that came from their thought and faith really amazing...i supposed people that have been through a lot really could heal their own pain without the need of modern medicine or operations...but it takes a lot of pains and training to do so,ey?

5. Rain said: Mika,oh,Mika...that's the best line ever from this movie..it's so funny and cute though...he didn't seem to be serious at all at this time when he knew that his life is on Mika's hand...

6.but, i supposed the movements and fightings scenes seem to be really fast that certain times it's hard to follow and look crowded in a way...and the way Rain held the chained blade really amazing..i feel like taking kung fu and weapon lesson now..(which not gonna happen though!)

overall, i just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Ninja Assasin and RAIN!

my extended gratitude....

i guess gifts from others really could change the receiver's mood...definitely, we would feel happy and proud that at least someone do appreciate every effort and special occasion for us...not like we are asking for it but as for me, every little things count...even if sometimes such gifts could be in the form of words, thoughts or intangible stuff but i still appreciate such kindness..sometimes i think it is more genuine and much cuter...but the previous day and last night, i really feel grateful for the gifts...nothing i could say more than thank you...such a nice things both of you have done and so sweet too...i didn't expect much, just a true friendship from all of my friends...your love is the best gift that i could ever receive and try hard to give back...thank you for the wishes that still keep coming and for the gifts that i am receiving...i feel sleepy but still jolly with such thoughts of your kindness...BIG THANK YOU!

NOT FIN yet

what do i really,really,really want?

i've came across to one of the Oprah show where it discussed about self motivation.it is really interesting show but i could not really remember a lot of it..phrase above is the only thing i kept in my memory till now...i rarely ask myself what i really want. in fact, each day i didn't know if i really want anything..i suppose i only live according to the  responsibilities of mine...shall i conclude, that i am not a person with much innovations and aims of what i really want?far from being an achiever, i guess my life was pretty normal but i realized, as i am getting near to the "real" world, i've become a demanding person...is this really what i really,really,really want to turn as?and if i didn't turn into one, how come many of us could be very demanding themselves? is that the things that they have in their mind and try to achieve?materials seem to appear such like a pure lusts to many but who can deny luxury and pleasure when they could afford to grab the opportunities....does being a little less from what half the population are aim to; makes you weaker or unmotivated?perhaps everyone have their own motivation but matter of achieving it, are all fate putting into their hands to grab.....

adakah kekuranganku,

menjadi pedih luka buatmu,

adakah lemahku

buat ku parasit

pada kesenanganmu?

aku mungkin punya 

agenda, 

tapi tak lebih,

hanya sekadar ingin

merasa bahagia...

Ethics for the day!

photo by blaugh: finding funny

p/s:nothing to write.guess a picture to tell the whole story would not hurt anyone..:D hef a good evening today!

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep
Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

 

photo lost by Katherine Davis

pretty much life is about gaining and losing...without such balance, life would be meaningless to a person.i keep wanting to write everything that is meaningful to me, but sometimes i just feel it is better for me to keep it secret....or it just got lost in between the time and my thoughts...i am not complex but i have too much concerns...i may appear as emotionless but deep down, there's a lot of things that i've been trying to keep...but as much as i've tried, i cannot stop my own self from losing even bigger things in my life....i just allow myself to do the same mistake again and again; not because i did not believe but i know it's must be tiring for people around me to keep taking care of me...there's too much that i am expecting from others and i feel sorry that i've ever done that...

dirty little secret.....

gossip could spread really fast..

unlike flu virus, it can be more dangerous as it is unseen...

plus, it is more contagious and epidemic

to many human beings...

perhaps i tried to sounds like  the gossip girl, but anyone would agree,ey? we all do love gossips especially dirty laundries that someone we hate are make known to us...and if those things that we hear could pull them down, it is even better...i heard to much today, that it makes me feel more to laugh than taking part...dear friends and family, i am done with hating...it does not bring me any good...but it does not mean that i did not care,it just mean that i don't give them a d*mn...why? because i've seen more damages because of what people assumed and tell behind my back...and i didn't see any good things happened to them...all i can see, when people LIE about another person, they becoming worst than the person...so, don't pass your judgment way too easy if in your heart, you still have doubt about the person...even if you've seen they do the the things that ain't appropriate or behave differently, talk to others in the best manner but don't tell lies...are you sure that people are not talking about you as bad as you are talking about others?and the world is not as big as it has been before, it's unbounded by nothing,in case you don't realize it...forgiveness is too common, anyone could say it but no one could really meant it.and sometimes human don't understand or try not to understand how apology works, where as; no wonder the Quran always encourage us to seek for taubah from Him before humans..to be frank,to all known stories about people,make it friends or families....sometimes if it's too bad; just to look at you make me sick...

____________________________________________________________________

SALAM EID ADHA

"Let's all sacrifices our aqal and strength to the right channels

where our deeds are reward with goodness from Him"

dari aku yang masih berkelana

25th years on 25th

nothing feel much better than celebrating my precious moments with people that i love and care for me...it's been 25 years, and alhamdulillah with His will, i am still here..creating a new story of my life..i keep thinking but i can't find anything to write...i just feel happy and blessed that goodness still come in my ways..whenever i feel down and weak, somehow i found my pieces of strength in between the obstacles...i can not stop myself from smiling or laughing just because i don't feel like i deserve it,even when i feel so much in misery; but memories keeps me alive and happy...i realize that i've never been a better person, but i try my best to learn how to be a wise person each time...maybe my words before, used to hurt many people, sometimes i just talk out of my sense of insecurity or ignorance...i am sorry, i don't mean to hurt anyone but i supposed that's the way i am before...now, as i am getting to my 25 years of age...i wish to be a person that not only thinking about me but a person that you could rely and lean on...i'll try harder and i wish you would help me too....thanks for all the wishes...even without all of your presence, i felt like i am celebrating it with a huge party...:D

hari ini (21.11.'09) adalah yang paling penat tapi i guessed i never really enjoy melaka like i did yesterday...we started our little-unplanned-trip to jusco for brunch and sightseeing before my sis headed to MITC for checked in at Ancasa Hotel...it was raining heavily and everything went wet...but nothing really could stopped us from having our fun outing...but i supposed, with sun up there, the pictures would turn out to be great...but somewhat it was great pictures that we have...after finished eating and settled down, we headed to the main destination which is Dataran Pahlawan, Mahkota Parade n Jonker St(*again!).got a few stuff to pick here and there...the trip was awesome, i love Jonker now better..we got a chance to meet a lot of new and interesting people..we rode on the trishaws and our's was the coolest one as the "pakcik" got us the old and dondang songs whilst riding us around the places...suddenly i felt like miss universe amongst the crowd that are busily walking around...so much fun when they started to notice our loud & happening trishaw and a guy a.k.a abang tak dikenali was dancing joget lambak, following the rythm of the song...along the way, we took a few good shots with uri  "new aegi" EO5 1000D...(**but frankly, i don't find any differences between a DSLR and digital camera, rather, a good eyes would define better than a lense of camera...)then another photo session at the Gate of A'Famosa where lotsa people are creeping here and there taking photos too...whilst photo-ing the whole thing, we started our climbing-trip up to the top of Bukit St. Paul where an old church used to be...(*i admit that my history is getting worn out, but i guess the fact is correct).it was soo tiring but it worth all the might that we have wasted as sunset really get us into the mood of nostalgic and patriotic(**hahah)...went down and we continued it with a trip into the Melaka's Museum...it's not that huge but contained a lot of wonders especially for me..the design of the building is also very simple but seem attractive to me...we went from room to room,from the day the Malay sultanate period to the wars with the Westerners and back again to the glorious days of the Malay heroism....after that,back to Jonker and yesterday, people seem to flush away from every side of the corners...too many people and too much to see along too much of heat that i feel like stop and sleep at the sideway..then we met this old uncle that really talented in playing the violin..so happy to see someone that is so alive as him...and he kept singing the we are the world song...i guess, it's a way he wants people to listen to his heart...as he was so kind to let us hold his violin and pretending to play it, i didn't let the chances passed and took as many photo that i can...everything is so authentic yesterday, i feel blessed that i got this chance to learn more...by more, i hope that i could learn more on night lighting and it's composition so that i could develop more great pictures during the night times...aja-aja,fighting!

anis di atas tembok

kami di parking lot dataran pahlawan..:D

pemandangan dari atas, paras-paras kaki langit...

generasi ke-2 & ke-3 sukri's family..

fin!

sandaran hati...

semalam dan juga hari ini, aku belajar banyak perkara baru tentang ertinya menjadi manusia yang benar-benar sabar dan bagaimana untuk mengerti serta menjadi ikhlas...walau se-bebas mana aku membiarkan diri untuk berfikir dan menilai, prejudis masih tetap menebal dijiwa aku..maka aku simpulkan bahawa aku masih tetap orang yang tidak benar...i feel sorry for myself, for being just another selfish being when friends and families need me...benar, kita tak mungkin memuaskan hati semua pihak,tetapi setidaknya aku berusaha untuk memenuhi sedikit sebanyak permintaan dari mereka semua...kenyataannya aku tetap melakukan kesilapan...sebanyak mungkin aku mencuba tetapi terkadang aku tidak mengikhlaskan hati aku untuk melakukan ia....dan setiap kali aku memikirkan, aku akan merasa kesal....tetapi cukupkah sekadar dengan perkataan maaf?adakah ia bakal mengembalikan kegembiraan mereka yang pernah aku gagalkan?dalam setiap perjalanan aku hanya melihat kekurangan yang lain, tidak sesekali merefleksikan kekurangan pada diri ini...aku merasa kecil setiap kali memikirkan ia....makanya hari ini, ingin kukatakan buat setiap kalinya..maafkan aku kerna menjadi aku!

mengertilah...

bersahabat atau mempunyai hubungan bukanlah sesuatu perkara yang mudah...tiada perhubungan yang bakalan kukuh jika tujuannya hanya untuk meraih keuntungan dari sebelah pihak...perhubungan adalah untuk menerima dan memberi;tidak hanya materi tetapi juga rohani...namun, manusia punya banyak kelemahan terutamanya pabila berhubung...kala tidak memahami, kita sering mengambil jalan mudah kepada teman dengan berbohong, menuturkan apa yang ingin dia dengari atau hanya sekadar berdiam...seorang teman yang jujur adalah orang yang redha menerima kritikan, nasihat dan teguran dari "teman-teman baiknya"..kerna dari sudut sang pemerhati, mungkin cara dan tingkah kita ada kurangnya dan sang penutur hanya ingin membantu kita untuk berjalan dengan lebih teguh...dan sebagai seorang yang memerhati dan menegur, tiada niat selain dengan ikhlas menginginkan kebaikan buat temannya...tidak payah untuk berubah tetapi jika diri terlalu ego untuk menaakul dan menerima, setiap yang berharap pasti merasa penat diakhirnya..jangan disia-siakan persahabatan hanya kerna merasakan ini adalah caramu...pernahkah kau terfikir, selainmu; ada juga orang disekelilingmu dengan pelbagai cara mereka sendiri...?berhentilah seketika dan dengarilah mereka kerna kau mungkin tidak sedar tetapi kadang-kala mereka juga memerlukan kamu untuk menggalas beban yang kau sendiri letakkan...seorang teman yang sanggup berkongsi bebanan maka dialah sahabat yang jujur dan benar...selayaknya dipanggil teman baik. bukan seseorang yang hanya berkata; ya, aku bersamamu tetapi tidak pernah hadir kala kamu membutuhkan dia...turut serta walau untuk perkara sekecil zarah..

photo wait awhile by andyp89

cold,cold day...

masih lagi jaga dan terus memerah usaha untuk menyudahkan assignment system.jari-jari aku tetap usahakan agar tetap punya idea untuk terus mengetik isi kepada laporan...just wondering why it keeps raining eventhough the obvious answer is actually in front of me..musim tengkujuh, takkan nak panas plak kan?but cold weather is my enemy sebab cuaca sejuk buat aku jadi polar bear yang kelaparan....setiap detik berjalan sambil kaki turut rancak ke dapur membikin apa yang terselera pada tekak...tapi yang paling popular tika ini adalah mushroom goreng.diikuti dengan sandwich tuna,biskut-biskutan dan pelbagai jenis air...tapi bagi aku cukuplah dengan kopi...hidup tanpa kopi bak jiwa tanpa cinta..bagi aku, kalau tidak minum kopi aku akan menjadi sangat haus sehinggakan air mineral pun boleh rasa macam pasir...pelik sebab aku bukan kaki kafein tapi sejak berjinak-jinak dengan cafe hopping, aku jadi gila kopi...bagi aku, kopi itu unik kerna dalam hitam, aku melihat putih...dalam pahit, aku merasa kemanisan...tapi yang paling mencabik-cabik jiwaku adalah aroma yang terhasil...sangat-sangat misteri tetapi terasa dekat dengan diri...bagai ada mistik disebalik kabus-kabus yang mengaburi logik...dan aku adalah orang yang imun dengan kopi, tidak terkakis dengan kandungannya...tidurku tetap berjalan seperti biasa kecuali hari-hari pabila kerjaku mulai bercambah atau saat insomnia mula bertapak di otak..aku tak bisa tidur lagi...

photo winter rose by littlemewhatever

lomo-life!!!

last night, i am stumbled upon one great product which i never thought would exist...nothing interest me more other than cameras..was browsing around to find the best camera dari normal digital kepada DSLR to analog camera...but this lomo camera really excites me...as far as i am concern, lomo range of camera are film-based cameras....but, i don't really care as i prefer something that i could develop later rather than digitally uploading it and edit....i like to explore but film camera really interesting.. because it has limitations to things that we could do but never stop our imaginations on creating the atmosphere that we would want it to turn out to be...so currently eyeing on a few model but i want to confirm on place to get it and the price...i've checked the Lomo Diana Mini and the price is quite reasonable...so next step, want to confirm on the film, the price for it and where to get and develop it...if it's not available, i suppose i have to open back my ol' picture lab..:D other than that, they also have very unique range like Lomo Pop 9 where it produces pictures the way Andy Warhol's pop art images...interesting as it is from camera..to add to the peculiar addition is Holga 35mm,120mm that produces very interesting pictures...

photo Diana + MEG Edition by lomography.com

photo with Holga 35mm

maunya apa lagi?

as much as i told myself that this would go away; very much i am disturb by the thought of you...as much i try not to care, every feeling that you might feel; i keep thinking..are you happy? are you sad? are you will be ok?did anyone hurt you today?did anyone smile to you today? or perhaps did you ever smile genuinely like you always do, if you ever?i am not sure what's the truth, it is not that i don't believe you but every silence that you try to make...tore the believe that i've kept...it's not plain white lie anymore, it hurts me each time...and i won't explain this because you should have know better...there's no secret, this is out of sincerity...

maybe,maybe,maybe..perhaps...

sudah lelah berlari, kini aku mahu berhenti mengejar...takkan ada ruginya kan bila kau sendiri tak lagi mengerti...atau buat-buat tak reti?jangan ditunggu bulan yang takkan jatuh,itu kata-kata kau...mungkin pernah aku berharap bulan itu untuk jatuh,walau untuk sesaat...tetapi tetap kau diam, tak mahu lagi berbicara...terlalu payahkah atau kau sendiri sudah tak mahu lagi mengerti?mungkin waktu terlalu cemburu atau percaya tak lagi kukuh dalam jiwa-jiwa kita...mungkin aku yang salah atau mungkin kau terlalu mudah..aku tak tahu, tapi aku juga punya rasa untuk dimengerti...tak pernah aku merasa lelah untuk berlari bersamamu tapi penat saat kau lebih banyak tersasar dari landasan mu...persetan, aku tak mahu lagi menunggu bulan itu untuk jatuh!

photo ambilkan bulan by selamatidur

jalan-jalan hidupku...

hari-hari yang lembab kerna hujan tidak berhenti-henti menyimbah bumi...pas banget nih...syok tidur but boredom really kills me...so lepas berkira-kira untuk tak keluar,aku gagahkan juga diri untuk berjalan-jalan sambil membeli groceries.naik bas, antara perkara yang aku paling suka buat...anyway, i'm not a friendly-car type...and by taking bus, aku dapat tengok tempat-tempat baru, pemandangan-pemandangan lama juga dapat ber"kenalan" dengan karekter-karekter baru di sekeliling aku...bukannya nak berjimat sangat tapi bila naik bas,automatically otak aku jadi lebih clear dan aman,maybe sebab perjalanan-perjalanan yang panjang beri aku peluang yang banyak untuk berfikir tentang kelebihan yang telah Tuhan berikan kepada aku...juga untuk berdiam sejenak sambil belajar tentang kepayahan yang dihadapi oleh setiap orang yang naik dan turun dari bas...well, life is like that,ey?dan jarang-jarang kita tengok "orang-orang penting" naik bas,yang biasa cuma buruh-buruh, makcik-makcik cleaner ,adik-adik sekolah dan abang/kakak kilang yang terdiri daripada pelbagai bangsa...kalau manusia dinasihatkan ke rumah sakit atau ke kubur untuk melihat penderitaan,for me; inside the bus itself ada banyak cerita suka-duka, pahit-manis...aku pernah jumpa satu keluarga yang ramai anak kecil naik bas.si ibu juga mendukung seorang baby kecil,maybe nak ke hospital..hati rasa sangat sayu sebab anak-anak kecil ini begitu memahami dan tak langsung merengek.semua naik dan pilih tempat duduk...kalau adik aku, ke sekolah yang tak jauh mana pun mesti berkereta, tak mahu naik motor...malu katanya..juga seorang atuk cina yang sangat tua,mengutip tin dan plastik untuk menyara hidup...tak larat lagi mengayuh basikal, dia bergerak dengan bas..tapi walau sesusah mana hidup mereka, wajah mereka tetap tenang masih sempat melontar nasihat-nasihat manis buat pemuda-pemuda seperti aku.dengan ayah aku pun jarang-jarang dapat kata-kata hikmah.. it's all about ups and downs, but do we ever think if our less fortunate experiences could match anyone?mungkin ia tak sama dan tak mungkin pernah sama tetapi aku selalu ingat bahwa tiada kepayahan yang Tuhan berikan kepada aku yang bisa buat aku mati...orang lain merasa yang lebih teruk....jadi itulah jawapannya kenapa aku suka naik bas..lebih aman untuk belajar tentang "haiwan sosial" yang dikurniakan aqal lebih atau kurang...

memang sangap!!!

dan saya tak bisa untuk melelapkan mata kerna bimbang terlepas subuh..juga kerna gara-gara nawal yang tak abeh-abeh dengan haram-halal citarasa orient tentang hukum dunia dan kewajipan..nampak je cam cool, dalam hati membara nak jerit,"yang, i bukan ustazah ok..." tapi bile dikenangkan si debs ni might just want to know as in being curious; ku turutkan soalan-soalan yang diajukan..makin lama makin mengarut tapi lantaklah, janji kau faham....dan hati ini menjadi redha dengan ketentuan Ilahi bahwa aku tak hidup bersendiri dan kadang-kala untuk mengerti tentang diri dan mereka disekeliling, aku harus "invest" masa agar tiada pertelingkahan kelak...sudah jemu dan muak dengan assumptions..kita tak boleh selalu bercakap, seketika kita harus mendengar...detik-detik terus berjalan, maka waktu tidur aku juga dah terganggu... jadi dalam keterpaksaan, memerah otak yang sudah kering untuk siapkan report system & analysis design tapi otak tetap buntu cam iceberg kat laut artik...syok btol tengok cik debs aka nawal tidur tapi cemburu tinggal cemburu sebab  azan sudah berkumandang, maka saatnya aku tinggalkan lappy sayang untuk solat...

p/s: memang tak puas ati, perlukah mouse ku "mati" di time-time aku perlu harvest tanaman kat farmville?TIDAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

the box...

movie yang sungguh menggelirukan..nak kata masterpiece tak sangat but as expected from previous Donnie Darko , movie ini menambah sakit kepala.....but i supposed Donnie Darko is much better than The Box...and if you are not a fan of crazy-maze-stuck movie, this is not a good movie to watch...deep and analytical thinking are required for you to accept the message of this movie...banyak yang aku fikirkan and i am attracted to a few lines from the movie...one that i would always remember (for the time being),is about how human and our life is actually surrounded always by a box..."we live in a box, our house is a box...our car is a box with wheel, we go and come back with it...our body is a box and weak because we don't really realize it"...something like that;(**dengan sedikit tambahan dari aku....)

apa yang arlington steward cakap, aku rasa memang betul...sebab blog aku pon ada kotak.i believe in limitations surround me,i can't live without lines...dan kotak-kotak ini wujud dalam pelbagai bentuk;secara fizikal dan emotional...bagaimana kita menyedarinya, bergantung kepada kebijaksaan diri.tetapi kotak-kotak dalam kehidupan kita sebenarnya could be the extra baggages that will burden us for life...dan kadang-kala keputusan yang kita buat untuk "kita"(including people that rely on us), the consequences will haunt us in the future...memilih untuk tidak mempunyai kotak yang mengawal hidup kadang-kala adalah jalan penyelamat...terlalu tertutup buat aqal manusia jadi dangkal,keterbukaan buat manusia alpa dan mabuk dengan kebebasan...jadi dimana letak kehidupan yang bisa buat kita benar-benar bebas?

tiada...

like what jean paul sartre wrote in his novel; there is only 2 choices to escape...freedom or no freedom. 

feel like making sunshine

was looking for nothing..not looking forward for anything, did i? i feel blank because i don't really thought of anything...yesterday's weather was awesome and it's still continue until now...i feel cold but warm inside..listening to clazziquai makes my moments worth a breaks...yes, i can't move without sounds around me..as much as oxygen helps me breathe, my God makes me feel, music keeps my mind at ease...

photo listen to this by kawaiistelzkie

foolish senses....

almost instantly, virtual world does change a person into an unknown species....i'm gladly welcomed its existance into my world which is already mute and dull...perhaps, it may brings many joys and hectic experience to a boring person like me(**naah,i'm not lonely just wanna be alone:D)everyone becoming an early birds of their own bed tonite when sleeping is not much participated for the last 2 weeks...selain itu, nothing much to write..just try to gather my knowledge and expertise in surfing the net...once, it used to be addictive to me but now, i can't even lasts 30 mins on the internet...everything are not that fun anymore...should i continue my study? oh yes, our house just got our wireless internet after a very long waits and tragedies...hopefully everything will went well and cool....:D

photo computer by deviant

menonton hujan bersama hujan petang...

well, sesuatu yang terjangka...i've been longing to go out and listening to live music...hujan was awesome today with some other opening acts mereka...i don't really get their band's names sebab saat aku melangkah join mereka, jam sudah berpusing sepusingan selepas waktu permulaan...but it's all worth the risks leaving nawal shopping alone.thanks to aimi for so nice to bring and join my spontaneuos acts of boredom...sempat juga melayan telinga dan perasaan dengan beberapa buah lagu such as amoi chantek, pagi yang gelap, lonely soldier boy, aku scandal, obsesi and many others...keletah mereka makes the show very much sweet and simple and funny...thanks a lot hujan, for making my boring evening very exciting di taman buaya..:D

HUJAN: Mencari Konklusi Tour = awesome!

insomnia...

i can't help myself
to fall asleep,
under this dark skies
and cold breeze of midnight,
wind breaks the summer's arrogant
into a divine of slumber...

it's seems that i've
forgotten the taste
of deep and sweet
dreams that once,
i've been waiting
to lose myself into....

night after night,
how relentless
the state of my
thoughts and soul,
the energy still
is running thru
my veins and blood...
nothing seem to stop,
not even for a second....

and as the sun is rising,
the light that is bright,
become the enemy that
my body would not
dare to fight...
weak will be, i am...
but this eyes seem
to shut with my
tired heart...

lost in the heat of neverland.

teruskanlah...

i am envious of someone now..various thoughts dancing around my mind...maybe and maybe not, i don't know what to believe at this very moments...i wish i may let go, but somehow it feels so heavy to lifts my foots and walk away..i just don't have the courage to do so...

Coba tenang seketika
Coba pejam mata
Biar resah hilang saja
Dan coba diam yang bicara
Sediam bersama
Ditemani jasad kita

Kan ku cari konklusi

elements of life?

i did not have anything to write about today...
been reading (finally) a magazine which used to be
last month mag...(me = hopeless!)
that's my achievement for today...
but a few broken links to very much fashion's sites excite my senses...
it's not only fashion; it is a bit of knick-knacks of high fashion...(& i'm love with the sights!)
i am not an excessive ethusiasm of trends follower but looking
at something pretty makes me wonder
how dress could really impress...
thefin

freedom writer

photo freedom writers by freedom writers movie

i want to be a writer; i always know that however not talented i am...i could always escape with writing..however my world seems to stuck and dull, i would write about how it has been or even when people does not care to read about it, i still feel good that i have written something.watching freedomwriters, it inspires me...i feel sorry that i am too ignorant of the reality of life...most of the time,i only realise about my hardships, betrayals and problems that i've always encounter with friends, family and even myself...i rarely think of other's feeling when the are facing the same burdens as mine,in facts their's are more hard than what i've been dealing with...people that are younger than me suffers more than what i could have understood and experienced for the past 24 years of living in this world...and the elders that have surpassed me, greet this world with a bless for another sunshine after a long strained of tears and blood from their previous life and missing pieces of happiness...as i went through along with the movie, i keep thinkingabout my parents...how can a child deny the fact that their parents is their heroes?thinking and recalling everythings that they have do and give to me, i am amaze that i never hear one single sigh from them...there's no end in raising a person and not only a child... they've given me more than love and money, a thing that a human could not see but feel through their heart and aqal.i am blessed that my parents never given up on me...and i hope i would always have the chances and period to keep my promises realised for them...it maybe the littlest things that i could afford to do but i would love to letthem know that i care...and every words that i've telling them, someday it would be more than just a saying...striving for success and repay everythingthat my parents have given is not the only dream that i've set for me...people besides me have inspired me to think globally about the strangers around me.they are not strangers if we stop and listen to their stories.yes, maybe it sounds weird to do so. but i always think, that people we are living togethernow, once have been a stranger to our eyes...what makes us difference even when we have differences?are we really entitled to judge whenever the "first impression is important" policy came in action?i would like to agree with the impression thing before but now, actions is more important than what an impression would convey about an individual on the first sight.judgement raise assumption,whenever a person assumes, it would never turn pretty...human'sheart are full of tricks and lust but a pure heart of gold would never deny another's person chances and dignity differently.i may not be a perfect humanbeing, faraway to reach a Nobel Prize but i would love to care about this world and humanity as part of my living affairs...i may walk silently in front ofcrying child but in my heart, i would pray that He'll look after him...and if i have a might to lift a weak old woman, i would do so even when she refuse witha smile..i want to learn about their sufferings and happiness...teach me to be sincere and never back off of kindness...

Mak Ketam Jalan Senget

ramai orang gembira apabila melihat orang lain tersungkur, disalahkan, dibenci...bukan fitrah tetapi aku rasa ianya terkandung dalam naluri setiap makhluk adam..ditambah dengan bisikan halus dari "hati kecil" manusia mereka...kebanyakkan mereka ini wujud dan tak pernah berjaya ditapis dari kehidupan kita yang ingin hanya untuk meneruskan hidup...orang-orang yang tidak boleh melihat kejayaan dan kebaikan orang lain sebagai satu keuntungan yang positif sebaliknya berterusan berjuang untuk menjatuhkan seseorang yang mungkin sahabat baik, teman serumah, ahli keluarga sendiri...darah kita tak sama merahkah sehingga rasa cemburu itu harus dipuaskan?aku jemu bergaul dan mengenali manusia begini...berpura-pura dan berbohong masih aku maafkan tetapi hipokrasi bukan suatukebanggaan..aku tidak pandai menilai, mungkin selalunya sentiasa dikelabui perasaan sendiri..tetapi dari tutur kata, bahasa tubuh sangat mudah untuk dibaca..jangan cuba bersembunyi kerna setiap perkataan darimu menunjukkan jiwa mu itu...fikirkanlah, apa guna gaya yang gah atau pengetahuan mu yang selaut jika iaseperti air lumpur yang jernih dimata,tapi saat bergelodak selut memalit ke muka...aku jemu sangat merasa semu dengan pertolongan yang aku berikan kepadamu..kerna tingkah mu, niat murniku juga terasa sia-sia kerna terkadang, ikhlas ku seperti dipaksa-paksa...mengertilah, hidup bukan pameran muzium di dalam tingkap-tingkap kaca yang harus sentiasa dikagumi..belajar melihat isinya, dan juga bayanganmu dihadapan kaca...mungkin isinya tak sejelek bayangmu di hadapan mereka...dan sedarilah, seorang yang ikhlas tiada akan pernah merasa payah atau terancam hanya kerna manusia lain...itu hanya mainan perasaan iblis mu semata-mata..dan aku sudah cukup penat,hanya ketawa yang aku mampu hamburkan...

I'm gonna break your little heart

Watch you take the fall

Laughing all the way to the hospital

[Cause] there's nothing surgery can do

When I break your little heart in two

ku dedikasikan hidup dalam tulisan..

a friend made a statement of me about me being like the americans who are obssesed with blogs...i laugh when i heard it as i never came across that...for me, writing in blog as replacement of diary as i'm too lazy to write...being such a tech-savvy makes me becoming more lazy to use manual tools to write..most of the time, i'd be running out of ideas and words whilst looking for note pad and pen...how complicated life is now,ey?back to writing in blogs..many may have and choose their own motive for setting one up...as for me, i always regard it as my own personal place where i am free to express everything that i could not, hardly said in other's faces...and i feel that, it's important for me to at least keep a hobby as human does not evolve through mutation only..aku bukan kodok di bawah tin kosong...but as much i'm writing, i learned about my own style and my own ups and downs...and this things that i've written always make me laughs of silly-dilly things that i've been thru life...at heart, i always think what i've wrote is a mark that i am exist in this world...unheard but seen by others...i don't need attention to the things that i've and about to write but i feel at ease for things that i could express in my own words of world...

photo written by jp fischbein

my great fall?

living a little life, doesn't make you a little person..this world are full of miracles, it takes us to believe that it happen to everybody.and it certainly do; even when we detest such things to happen...i still thinking and it seem this soul-searching of mine will longed in my very curious mind for awhile.in the past, i would always asked myself why such and such events occured to me especially when it came to bad matters..but as much i would blamed the person around me and the situations,it actually would come back to my mind that perhaps, i shall reflected it to myself before i'm pointing to others...as much as i understand this, i did not understand anyone that could not understand my stand or even their's? why they are so protective of the truth and love to stand under someone else's shadows?does armouring yourself with other's word will really save you?after a few great falls, human seem to learn not to repeat the history twice..however by not repeating the same mistake again, they yet are makingthe same mistakes each time...i am broken and shattered but i never let the scars to keep pulling me into the slump...i've paid for my innocent to make me worthy as a human..and if you try to make me repeat about my past, i would gladly say that, i'm lucky to fall now instead of falling later because it makes me realise more that it's not only you that i need but also Him that is holding my sane andsoul...i'm not a quitter as even in the hardest time, i still climbing the cliff eventhough the edge is killing me...maybe today, for things that i am working on seem small to your eyes...but i shall say that it always meant a big things to me..

photo humpty dumpty by tioandria

gundah...

tiada gunanya lagi..setiap sesuatu yang berlaku, pasti ada pengajaran disebaliknya,kan?aku percaya itu dan sentiasa berharap penghujung perjalanan ini tetap akan menghampiri baik buat ku dan juga mereka yang mendampingi dan didampingi....tetaplah disini kerna aku tahu tiada yang lebih mengecewakan saat harus mengharungi ini bersendiri...hidup bukan begitu, saat tawa dan tangis itu adalah untuk dikongsi dan diketahui oleh semua,walau sesekali ia tetap menjadi rahsia...many things happened previously and i seem to stuck at this memory..aku biarkan ia disini dan pasti ia akakn tetap disini...tapi aku sedar ia tidak akan memberikan kebaikan malahan akan buatku lebih "sakit dan lemah."..makanya kini, aku belajar untuk mengenepikan ia seketika kerna aku tahu aku mampu untuk berlari lagi walau kaki masih sukar untuk berpijak diatas duri-duri kehidupan ini...

It's never enough to say I'm sorry

It's never enough to say I care

But I'm caught between what you wanted from me

And knowing that if I give that to you

I might just disappear

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back

No matter what I do you're always mad And I,

I can't change your mind

I know it's like trying to turn away one way street

I can't give you what you want

And it's killing me

hujan...

it feel cold and wet after it rained...i always love the rain because the feeling that its bring together with the weather makes me feel cosy and warm inside...nothing can break me and time seems like standing still...it may sound ordinary but that how it makes me feel..

how do I explain that

I just don't believe in all this

purposely for the world's perception of me
this is only rubbish put eloquently

like all the gothic poetry

kids are writing

from the high school scene

who are YOU?

to understand one's motive, maybe it will never reach to my mind of the reasons.but i just don't understand how a friend could really do a mean,bad things to someone that close to them...should this type of person be respected by his/her friends?aren't you the one who always go crying and whining about how life is always unfair and that you should be tough? i guess, on the surface you can act all you wanted but deep down it never will be that pretty because you still go around expecting people's sympathy...for me, i am started to losing my respect for this type of people...i'm giving you my hand without expecting anything in return, but as much as i tried to put up; it seems like you are wasting the faith that i'm offering...don't pretend to be a victim when you never understand honesty to others and even your own self...how pathetic it is, that you are going around telling lies about others when none of your friends are doing that to you?do you think it will lasts for long and it shall be unknowned to them...?don't you ever think of what others have been telling around about you?if you can't have respect of others please think of their pride...i think you are just afraid of all people that outshined you when it is only you that have the type of thought.and i still wondering until when will you put up to this drama of yours.. don't you feel guilty or at least regret about the lies that you have throwed around about your so called friends?does it really make you great when they are below your level when you are never the same level as they are?it is better to be on the ground as we can keep our head up and be proud with our's integrity when you have none because you're just too high..."hidup tak selamanya indah"

photo viande froide by arrtirritant

eid mubarak...

salam aidilfitri, salam kemenangan buat umat Islam...mungkin ramai yang menantikan ketibaan syawal nan indah dan mulia atas pelbagai alasan tapi paling utama bagi aku (untuk tahun ini),adalah untuk merayakan keberadaan setiap family members of mine...jarang-jarang setiap orang dapat berkumpul atas pelbagai alasan juga yang kadang kala bagi aku tak ada logika..but this time, i guess everyone humbly feel like togetherness does count...it may not be the sweetest memory but this raya might be part of pices that will remain in memory...perjalanan-perjalanan yang dilalui lebih manis apabila dirayakan bersama dengan orang-orang yang kita sayangi...dan dihayati dengan keikhlasan hati .

SALAM AIDILFITRI 2009!

what make you happy?

lately, i feel that the atmosphere are getting tense among everyone...there are a lot of untold story of unsatisfaction in every one's heart and mind...tiring days and demanding tasks leaves everyone ignoring other's needs..whenever i realised this, i always feel sorry that i have become a different person, if only for that moment...iff you could understand where i've been standing and how does it feel...so hard to be kind but to make another mistake, it does not worth all the ups and downs that we've been through together...and true, whenever i realised my recklessness, i would always try my best to be sensitive to your needs and demands...but, as i am always gonna be here, you need to realise that i also need you to do so for me...and iff this are easy as lying, i would like to do anything and everything that could make you feel happy...

photo happy by -

Ramadhan..

"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, diwajibkan atas kamu berpuasa sebagaimana diwajibkan atas orang-orang sebelum kamu agar kamu bertakwa"(Al-Baqarah:183)

perjalanan Ramadhan yang paling baik mungkin.sukar untuk dimengertikan tetapi kali ini terasa lebih banyak kesedaran siviknya..

down the memory lane....

the only time that i remembered him the most, is when he is walking under the sun..i love the look of his hair, so soft and golden...always make me feel like i am walking under a sunny sun on a wet grass...the only think that he can do to amuse me...and from a far, there's where i always be,wondering if one day we will have the chance to talk or even exchange the smile...meeting after meeting, there's always a little of him here and there;i've seen, until a few moments that it feel like impossible.i start to forget....and when things start to turn around, i am not sure if this love or just a reminiscence of memory..there is too much left untold,leaving a blank in my feeling...shall i continue to stand here or should i move and walk away?knowing that we still here,i am glad that time bring us back but all those words seem meaningless now...i just wondering at this moment, where do we go now?

photo the beach by atreja

things...

that we hate the most is always the things that we'll get..how irony life can be?nothing irony but i guess that is how life works...at certain point of time, we'll met a lot of people but very few will remained.and it's not because we hate them;but we're just different, that sometimes, the feeling of "hate" come to the mind...and we started to avoid them, push them aside..i always wondering if that a right thing to do?does hating someone because of what they have done to you and getting annoyed by their action is the same thing?for certain individual, it is easy to blame others and stir the flames to create the "hate atmosphere".but is it really wort the while to make others suffer at your expense...?don't you think that maybe someday, you might have to pay for it? i am tired of such fairy tales that people created as it may never be the truths...please, look at the mirror and ask if you hate yourself first before you hate others..if you can love yourself too much, why can't you let the love flow to others....

picture anger by sos photography

weightless...

Manage me, I'm a mess

Turn a page, I'm a book

Half unread

I wanna be laughed at

Laughed with, just because
I wanna feel weightless

And that should be enough

photo cake by papadont

been working hard to impress and address my will and ability to survive; in this materialistic world...i wanna feel weightless but it may sound senseless to me.because i am used to carry this heavy burden now...living as me, am i being unneccessarily worried about life when i never really feel the hardship?it feels unfair sometimes as things will never turn as what we have planned but to improvise from the change seems to be the part that always make me feel nervous and frustrated sometimes...i am used to the lemons inlife that my lemonade does not taste sour at all...like chae moo ryong says, no matter what,just smile..:D

salam ramadhan..

salam ramadhan buat teman-teman dan umat Islam...moga ramadhan ini menjadi batu penahan kepada perkara-perkara yang tiada faedahnya, dan menjadi trampolin yang bakal menonjolkan kebaikan yang berterusan...:D

days that passed by...

too many things to write but everything seems to fade away as i only have it all scattered in my small memory box aka my brain..:( but everything seems normal; so there is nothing really to tell.but sadly they already called me to report duty whilst i am still have my string attach to this "misery life" of being a student...oh, i wonder when will i actually will move on?life is getting better, it is...however, not being able to start a new phase in life at this age seem frustrating and upsetting not only for me but also to people that are counting on me...perhaps,one fine day, i could at least fulfill some of the expectations not only for a sense of achievement...but with the experiences that could make me more thoughtful and wiser...will i age to that level or will i be useful to the new life that i am entering in future?

photo hot bugs by xiobaosg

bada,bada,bada....

The rustling leaves and the chilly midnight wind
I wonder if it`s your car pulling into the driveway
Baby do you know what it`s like to wait???
Well I`ve been waiting all my life for you

* And would you believe in things
That I shall say today???
would you believe in me
Oh baby, baby, baby,baby
Bada bada, bada bada
Do you know I want you so bad???
Something stirs deep in my heart, oh babe,
Yeah yeah yeah.

The rustling leaves and the chilly midnight wind
It`s time to leave in your car you parked in the driveway
The night is cool and the skies are dark
Well I`ve been waiting all my life for this