music?

it's like a soundtracks to my life...i love listening to music and pretty much i can say that it is the most addictive thing that one could have rather than other drugs...tapi aku tidak mengagungkan musik, i just like to listen because in every word and line, i could find a bit of myself everywhere according to the moments..sound cheesy but that's the reason that i could keep going besides my faith and love ones...however, anything too much could bring much harm in one way or another..and to say music is universal is true as it brings togetherness in people in many ways that sometimes no logic thinking could give the reasons...music never discriminates, you could be anyone but still listen to the same type of music or singers...and could have the same ideas without realizing much on the differences that you may have before..music brings loves as much as hatred that people try to throw to others through their words..nevertheless,no matter how it is narrated, people have a choices on things that they want to listen to or to make part of their life too...

photo: music by modest beauty

quantity or quality?

there will always a question arise whenever we try to decide on any matter especially when it affects our life. i always wonder if quality is better than concerning about the quantity?it makes me confuse each times,when people really emphasize on quality but the question always begin or ended with how many, how much? does they really care about the quality or they are more concern about the numbers?for me, i believe that quality improve the quantity but perhaps, sometimes it does not matter about the quantity; as many of it may derived more quality but maybe i am wrong...even on a simple thing as seeking for jobs; it does not really matter if you have a 1st class degree in very complicated programme because if you don't have any experiences with the tasks, the chances for you to be accepted maybe the same as the person who have lower class degree in the same programme but with 2-3 years of experiences.even to buy good, imported tomatoes, if the price are slightly higher than the local tomatoes ,we'll mostly choose the cheaper price for a bargain quantity...the taste and look may not differ much anyway; that's what always on our mind, isn't it?therefore to say quality improved life, isn't it quantity of years that we spend that helps our life to be improved?oh, just to get this off my mind..i really wonder because my life might have it owns standard but the amount of period and people that surrounded me whilst i spending on it, that really teach me the meaning of being alive. so i just feel that, to push yourself too hard in order to achieve certain level may not occurs only if you think of the quantity that you should reach..it is a continuous effort knowing that there is no numbers could match the quality...

photo: measure by little miss tragedy

done!!!

finally, i've got to the ending of the 2 most favoured k-drama that i am dying to watch..yes, i was curious and i'm trying my best to watch it...and both dramas are not dissapointing because they are as good as i believe it will be..2 different geres but i supposed both are as equal genius as neither of it.check it yourself, if you are a hallyu fan...:D

shallow?

what is it with people that always talk about others but never "judge" themselves?i AM sick and tired..i hope i am not the only person who cares much about punctuality, fulfilling obligations and all..no, i'm not telling you because i am perfect or that i am right..i am whining because i'm too tired of being patient and cool about stuff..i am sick being the one that always have to stand and wait...it takes so much of my times,have you not think of that?i am really sorry that sometimes i may look quiet and loud at the same time but underneath, i observed a lot but yet to mention; cause i realize a lot of people don't really "listen" or "think" when been told..perhaps, it's a a trend of defend mechanism to many this days...but please, DO NOT claim yourself this and that if you ARE NOT as described.i bet if it's on your resume, would it be pretty when people discover it later?yes, i am like this..but i feel sorry because you are just another majority that has one too many concerns about unnecessary things where half the world are still suffer because of the way "some" of us thinking.it will be never about how you look but about how you appear...

photo:blood by kahwe

afraid..

everyone has their fear...what is yours?i am afraid of the dark, i am afraid of failure and many other of afraids that actually never will make a person succeed...my biggest afraid is: if i am letting go of something, and it's turn out to be the right thing for me..wouldn't i gain nothing but keep on losing?have you ever wonder, if you could change your decision yesterday, would the result will be the same or worse or better for today?do we really need to calculate the probabilities or just follow the instinct.i am almost to the top, but it's seem the top i've been climbing all this while, are not where i want to be...should i stepped down and try to find a new one....all doubts, so many questions we've been thinking all our life but what's the worth of not taking the chances when the doors are open for you to grab...same to me,i might seem content but i would like as much as possible achieve greatness as history has been written.not for anyone, just for myself..

photo: greet the morning by phatpuppy

say hello, my little friend...

today we're saying goodbye to little fat louie...he suddenly fell sick and died..i feel sorry that he'd only stayed for less than few weeks and now he's gone..i don't really feel lost but i feel sorry that he's so cute and adorable but he's gone now..i'll remember you;always...so long my dear friend; rest in peace..:D amal said, he showed us that life's too short...but yeah, life is always short if we never try to feel happy with things that we have. for every ending, there will always be a new beginning..a new start with a strong heart because being hurt before teach us not to be the same fool again...

Say hello, I need friend

Say hello, I need friend

chabado o-ullichi a-nhun sonpiryodo

obsulchi morunun kakka-un

momshirige konnun

palcha-uk ttara

oroporin nunmuldosalmyonshi

noganae-rigil baraenegyote

pyona-nhi chamdul su

itkehamkke issojwo

Say hello, I need friend

Say hello, I need friend

Say hello, I need friend

photo: fat louie by asuka

cool.calm.collected

just feel a bit anxious + tired lately...wonder why?a lot has been happening as always; but i could not wait for my study to finish. too bored of being told what to do, i guess..:D now, i just wait for fajr azan before going for jogging..a quiet night it has been.very peaceful but mosquitos has made it impossible for me to sit in peace and calm; enjoying my own sweet time. just thinking about my family and friends..it's quite a number of years since we all growing up and living apart from each others...many of us have settling down; whether married to a person or job but everyone seem to be busy pursuing their own aim in life...i wonder what is mine?vaguely, i guess i have one but i just could not determine which one now..funny thing happened too..frankly, i've been looking for you for awhile but i decided to stop when i believed that i would not find you again..but time really proved that it's just a period and anything could happen if we believe enough in things that we wish for...being able to see you again, is this really a miracle or this is a destiny that He directed for us? i feel at peace when i think of it,that all probabilities in life is a calculation that we decided for own self...nothing to be surprise at but definitely worth to be prepared for...

picture: in the grass by rose on the grey

road not taken

ever feel like in this life that you don't have any choice but to blame others?yes, i know i have.it might sound ridiculous but it is true.never deny it; as i have met a lot of person that "fond" of blaming others but themselves. did we call it selfish? yes it is one simple act of selfishness that would never leave our human nature. and i'm not blaming or "pointing" to anyone. i am too, the same.who is noble enough to realize and admit their wrong doings?no one.if such people exist, i don't think we ever need rules and regulations or even court to be the judged of our own choices. do you think?however, to make it perfect out of one person seem like an utopia; far from our reach. why i am relating choices and blaming others in the same page? because i realised nowadays, when everything's going wrong, people tend to escape and start to put the burden on others. was it not enough that you make a different choice that you should put it for others to bear?why can't you take a moment to think rationally about the solution before deciding to point it to others.is it that much fun to see others suffer because of your causes?too many questions; but for the past few years, i have learned to blame myself first before others.yet, i still make mistakes about it but i never regret.maybe, it's truely my mistakes. and i am not telling you that i am not selfish as until today, i care too much about my happiness before others. it can't be separated but before i choose what is best for me, i put the needs of others that close to me first. i choose to care for others but will other choose to do so for me or perhaps strangers and friends that need their helps sometimes or even for themselves? choices are not only matter that come in our life, part of it we create it for ourselves. choosing to be good or bad does not only come from people before us or our environment; but it's a choice of the mind and soul.of our own mentality and judgement where biases, evaluation and decision are make to satisfy the thought that we hold and believe.mind visualize and help to execute everything beyond our understanding.if you choose not to do a thing, you will never make yourself to start doing it, and otherwise.as for me, we never will be the ideal person that we want to portray to others if we could not stop blaming others and acting selfish. a word from a true person could always be distiguish from another. so, this also a choice right?start listen to others and don't only think that the world is miserable place as you are still living in it....mungkin:D

picture: stairs to nowhere by MichelRajkovic

si umang-umang..

aku adalah umang-umang,

yang tidak berupa jelas

atau kelihatan manis

di mata manusia....

aku adalah umang-umang,

yang senantiasa berlindung

di balik kulit keras ini...

pernahkah kau berfikir,

bahawa aku; si umang-umang

punya hidup seperti mu

walau kisahku bagai

tidak kedengaran...

hadirku tak terlihat

oleh dunia, tetapi

dirasakan oleh pepasir pantai,

aku adalah umang-umang

yang senantiasa merasa aman,

dengan hidup sendiri

di alam cengkerang ku,

tetapi tidak pernah

merasa aman dengan

polusi mu terhadap diriku..

perlukah aku merubah

rupa kehidupanku pabila

serakahmu yang mengawal

aqal untukmu menilai?

picture: shell by ~ninoness

song of the beach..:D

i was lucky this trisemester as i have many free time to spend with my beloved people...and a whole lt time to think and decide if life is never be easy on me...but the sea teaches me not to give up on life as it is not only journey but also a finding of my true self...

i saw from the beach -Thomas Moore

i saw from the beach,
when the morning was shining,
a bark o'er the waters move gloriously on;
i came when the sun o'er that beach was
declining, the bark was still there,
but the waters were gone.
and such is the fate of our life's early promise,
so passing the spring-tide of joy we have known;
each wave that we danced on at morning ebbs from us,
and leaves us, at eve, on the bleak shore alone.
oh, who would not welcome that moment's returning,
when passion first waked a new life through his frame,
and his soul, like the wood that grows precious in burning,
gave out all its sweets to love 's exquisite flame.

na iyagi..

just a quick note...baru saja sampai dari melaka and i'm landing myself in on of the prayer room available here..luckily someone let the wifi connection on so i got to access my fbee...nothing really important but just wanna say THANKS for a very awesome week my dear friends...it's good to be back and it's worth 16 hours of journey just to get together with all of you...and whilst in the bus to come back here, i've been thinking about things and events that have happened to all of us..it's worth a while to get to know all of you..and to get together with "new" people really open my eyes and mind to the new opportunity in life and also experiences...congratz to both Khairina and Azimah Aziz for their treasure of joy and love..and also happy birthday to my big sista...may all of you will be blessed always with many loves by Him..:D

for awhile...

life has nothing to promise but there is always a guarantee of happiness..when,where or even with who, it is still a mystery but life is what is suppose to be..it will always continue until the last day that life is not needed any more...today, i feel the pain of losing things that matter most to my heart but as the pain grew, so does my life...slowly i started to become stronger again and eventhough i find it is hard to smile, i could feel settle for a bit because time and life help me to grow and understand that part of this misery was my own choices...i heal my own pain through life and experiences by others...and yesterday's sadness has become a joke for me today..10,20 or 30 years from now; i probably too busy to remember all of this; but i'll remember the most important parts of it...

For a while I’ll just wait for the beating of my heart once again

dunia..

which i belong; it may not be as big as anyone could imagine...however, i love my own world as it is very wide and sunny even in winter...in it, i don't have regret but slighlty i feel lonely...but the sunny colors of the light and warm summer breeze makes me feel alive..lately, i have been doing all i can to feel useful about myself..i remind myself not to have regret or to be frustrated by life..and i am not eventhough i realise that i can not be sitting here and counting as the time pass me by..i need to learn how to walk again so that i won't needto rely on anyone again...it feel so good to lay in this green grass of my own world but i need to wake up to face these people's world...the real world where feelings are not everything and life definitely a puzzle that we are trying to complete with a perfect curves and matches...:D

I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone I’ve tried
and I don’t know why
Slow it down make it stop
or else my heart is going to pop...